2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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