just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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