come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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