God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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