you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize