You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
