Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
