So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
