I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We need to get me chipped asap
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