I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize