We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
