I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
