Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
