Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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