pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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