He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
