I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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