i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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