so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize