Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just cropdusted the office
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
