so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
