So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
