An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
