The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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