everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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