Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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