its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
