Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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