This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
