She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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