I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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