her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
