if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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