Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
