On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
