so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
