HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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