dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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