considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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