I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
