I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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