i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
