puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
