Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
