She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
