He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
