he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize