dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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