My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
