I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
