I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
