like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just found puke in my bra..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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