the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
