I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize