I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
