Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
