and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
