He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
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