epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
