I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
