Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The struggles of a small town man whore
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
