you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
