True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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