Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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